Whether or not you have been through a divorce personally, helping a friend through one is always a unique experience. If you are close friends with someone who is going through a divorce, it is important to be there for them and take your responsibility seriously. Here are 7 ways you can help a friend who is going through a divorce:
Help Them Find a Place To Stay
The most immediate concern during a divorce is meeting basic needs: a place to stay, food to eat, transportation to get where they need. If you have the ability to offer a guest room or a couch to your friend, do so. However, they will likely not want that as a long-term solution any more than you would. Help them find somewhere to stay where they will be safe, assisting along the way with things they probably are used to relying on their partner for.
Don’t Push Them To Talk
If your friend wants to talk about what they’re going through, listen to them. If they don’t want to talk about it, don’t push them. Hanging out with you could be the one opportunity in their life currently that they can distract themselves and talk about other things.
Be Open and Inviting
If your friend does decide to talk to you about their situation, let them know that you are open to listening to them and you will not judge them for anything. Make sure you mean that.
Keep Inviting Them Out
Even if they don’t come often, keep inviting your friend out to social events! They will appreciate being included and may take you up on the offer one day. Reaching out to them is what matters most.
Compare and Despair
Just like no two marriages are alike, no two divorces are alike. Comparing your friend’s situation to that of your own divorce, or anyone else’s is unhelpful advice. So too is comparing your friend’s divorce to a break-up between an unmarried couple. Even though the same level of emotional damage may be experienced, the legal and logistical stress of divorce is unique.
Skip the Trash Talking
If you feel your job as a friend is to help trash talk your friend’s ex, it isn’t. If your friend wants to trash talk, let them but don’t pile on. It isn’t helpful to be reminded of their ex, no matter the situation, and it still hurts to hear that you never liked them or always thought something was wrong.
Find Them a Good Lawyer
If you or a friend need help getting through a divorce efficiently and successfully, contact John M. Totten, P.C. today! We know how difficult divorce can be, and we know how to lead you through it successfully. We are eager to help you in any way that we can!
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