5 Tips for Better Communication with Your Ex

Sometimes parents think that once their divorce is finalized, they will never have to speak to their ex again. This is not the case. When you have children together, your ex becomes your co-parent after a divorce, and your focus becomes on working together to take care of your child. This means that communication is more important than ever with your co-parent – even though it might not be easy.

We know that talking with your co-parent is not always a breeze, even though it is essential. Here are our 5 tips for better communication with your ex:

Focus On the Kids

One of the best pieces of advice that we can give is to always remember the common ground that you have with your co-parent. Both of you just want the best for your child and will do whatever it takes to get that. Try to separate your personal history and trauma with your ex from the conversations about your child that you need to have. It is all only about the child.

Speak More Clearly, Not More Often

Some parents are shocked that they still have to communicate with their ex after the divorce has ended. We recommend that instead of speaking more with your co-parent, you just speak more clearly. This means that your communication being clear and intentional actually leads to more boundaries and a more professional relationship with your ex, which you might not assume would come from speaking to them.

Consistency is Key

Being on the same page as your co-parent is the best way to maintain a positive childhood for your kid. Work together to make sure that you are both adopting the same basic policies about things like diet, entertainment choices, bedtime, and language used. Remember that consistency is key, and your child will be confused if they have vastly different lifestyles depending on who they live with.

Don’t Lead With Anger

When you are upset about a decision which your co-parent made, try to take a deep breath and lead with clear honest intentionality when speaking to them about it. No one likes being in trouble, and no one responds well to anger. Return to your common interest with your co-parent and then address whatever it is that you feel you need to.

Make the Transitions Easy

Creating a set system for transitioning between parents is highly beneficial for a child. It sets a precedent that they know what to expect when going to visit the other parent. We recommend setting a time and place that you always meet to switch off visitation, as well as keeping some essentials at both houses so your child does not have to pack them every time.

Ask For Help

At John M. Totten, P.C., we have been covering Child Custody cases in Alabama for a long time. If you need help with a family legal issue, contact John M. Totten, P.C. today. We know that nothing is more important to you than your children. We believe in the power of representation!