4 Tips for Helping Kids Adjust to Splitting Time Between Houses

Hopefully, you can sigh a little bit in relief after your Alabama divorce agreement has been finalized. You won’t get long to rest on your laurels, though, because there is a whole new normal waiting for you. And, if you have children, it will likely involve plenty of encounters with your ex as long as your kids are splitting time between the two houses. You might still be feeling bitter or angry at your ex about the split, and those are valid emotions, but for the sake of your children you need to put ill will aside to focus on helping your kids adjust to their new lives. 

As it stands right now, that might feel like an insurmountable task. Do your best to adhere to the following pieces of advice, though, and you will get through this strange, difficult time.

  1. Continually reassure your children that they were not the reason you and your ex decided to get a divorce. Children are known to internalize blame, and they might still be feeling as if they caused the divorce of their parents. Make sure you communicate to your kids that nothing they did caused the split between you and your ex, and that you both love them just as much as ever.
  2. Encourage your children to make their new rooms their own spaces. Once you or your ex finds their new home, let your children help decorate the new space. This can help them feel a little more in control and bring a sense of familiarity into their uncharted territories. 
  3. Do not try to compete with your ex. If your ex has gotten a new place and you receive your children back after their first time over there, it’s natural that they might be excited about their new rooms. You might feel a rage boiling due to the fact that your ex is receiving praise from your children, but you need to realize that co-parenting is not about you; it is about your kids. So, take the high road and share in your children’s enthusiasm. On the other hand, you should not spend thousands of dollars decking out your new place just to stick it to your ex. 
  4. Be sensitive to whether or not the parenting plan is working for your children. The hope here is that you and your ex spent a significant amount of time and energy into creating the best parenting plan possible, but sometimes, when the rubber hits the road, things just don’t work. If that happens, speak honestly with your spouse about what you are sensing. Also, plans will naturally need to be tweaked as your children age. 

Conclusion

The foundation to any great parenting plan is an effective, well-crafted parenting plan that puts your child’s best interests first. Our firm would be honored to represent you and aggressively fight for the goals and wellbeing of you and your children. Call us today at 256-233-2025 to discuss your case.

Written by John M. Totten

John M. Totten

John's office is in Athens, Alabama, where he has helped thousands of people in North Alabama with everything from family law issues, to catastrophic injury and death cases, to criminal defense.