Going through a divorce is typically a very difficult experience, and one that nobody wants to have to endure. While parents often find a sense of relief after the divorce is finalized, the difficulty might not fade so quickly for the kids. Many kids have a hard time adjusting, and find the changes that they need to make confusing and even painful. While there is no way to make this adjustment process easy on the kids, there are some things that can be done to be there for them as much as possible.
The following tips can help parents to make the right decisions regarding what to do and say to their children in the weeks and months after a divorce.
Don’t Bad Mouth Your Ex
No matter how bad your ex was, or is, they are still your child’s parent and should not be talked negatively about in front of them. Your children have the right to love and respect both parents, and receive love and respect in return. Even if you have legitimate criticisms of your ex, your kids are not the ones you should be talking to about it. See a therapist, go out with friends, or just keep your comments to yourself. Your kids will thank you for it in the end.
Consistency is Key
Your children’s lives have been turned upside down due to the divorce, and they will need time to adjust to this new way of life. They will be looking for stability in their life (even if they don’t realize it at the time). So, try to keep family traditions and other things as consistent as possible. This may mean having some flexibility in things like parenting time, but it will be best for your children.
Consider Therapy for the Kids
Many parents think that they will be able to help their kids through this difficult process on their own, but that is not always the case. Allowing them to speak with a professional who knows how to communicate with children in this type of situation can be very helpful. It will also give them the opportunity to talk to someone neutral in the situation without any judgment.
Avoid Additional Significant Changes (If Possible)
While it is not always possible, it is best to avoid additional big changes such as changing schools or moving a long distance away. As mentioned above, children will be looking for stability, and if you can provide it in these areas, it will be very beneficial for their adjustment.
Do What is Best For Your Children, Regardless of What Experts Say
There is no shortage of books, websites, and other information from experts on how to work with children after a divorce (including this very blog post). While these types of resources can provide great advice and insights, it is no replacement for the personal relationship you have with your kids. Spending time with your kids and reacting to their specific needs on a day to day basis is invaluable.
If you think that your marriage is headed for a divorce, or are currently looking for a lawyer that can handle your case with sensitivity, empathy, and experience, look no further than John Totten Law. We have years of experience dealing with Alabama divorces of all shapes and sizes. Contact us today for a confidential consultation.
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